"What NOT to Say to an Expectant Mother" Part 2

I just received this email from a friend at work and thought it would perfectly compliment my previous post.

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass (including, "Did you plan this?")

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.

4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

8) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

9) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.

Signed,
All Pregnant Women

I've learned to deal with my frustrations now and channel my energy toward sleeping every second available and when I'm not sleeping, I'm organizing something before I pass out again. I will post pictures from this past weekend's couples shower as soon as I get them and before I fall asleep again. Stay tuned!

What NOT to Say to an Expecting Mother

As my journey through pregnancy is quickly coming to an end, I am pausing today to reflect on some of the more absurd comments that have found their way out of the mouths of not only strangers, but even those that I see on a regular basis on the bus or at work. Let this post serve to educate the ignorant, enlighten the "less than enlightened" and let me blow off some steam before I murderball the next idiot who says something to me!


1. Never EVER say "you are enormous."


Number one, do you think I don't already know this? By you reiterating this fact, I have now placed you on my dumbest people ever list. That's a list nobody wants to be on. Number two, thanks. That's just what I want to hear as I was making my way to the vending machine to buy a bag of Tear n' Share M&Ms. And I wasn't going to share with anyone...


2. Never EVER say "are you sure you're doctor has your due date correct?"


SERIOUSLY? Are you really serious? I swear that this comment was heard in the halls at KMK on Friday, February 13, 2009. I'll never forget it. I stood in complete amazement at the idiot who said that to me. If my mouth wasn't on the floor, I wish I would have responded that my doctor would be more than happy to fax over my medical records. Or even better, why don't you give me an exam and tell me when I'm due. Too bad she got laid off...


3. Never EVER say "how many babies are in there?"


Believe it or not, this comment came from the same lady who dared to ask the due date question above. All in the same conversation. It was truely an unbelievable 2 minutes of my life. I wanted to ask her how many hamburgers she had in her belly, but like I said, my mouth was still on the floor.


4. Never EVER say "you still have a ways to go"


Trust me when I say that I don't know a pregnant woman alive who doesn't know exactly how many weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds there are left until she is due. Not that this is an exact science, but I know how much longer I have. I don't want to hear that 10 weeks is still a "ways to go". Because really, it's not. After you factor in that babies are considered full term at 37 weeks, that would bring me down to 7 weeks. That doesn't sound like a very long time to me, plus I have 500 million things to do before then. Or, if perchance this baby decides to stick around past my 40 weeks, don't you even think I want to know that I still have a "ways to go."


5. Never EVER say "I feel like your pregnancy went so fast"


Really? Well I'm glad it went fast for someone. Too bad I found out I was pregnant the DAY it happened so it really has been an eternity.

So, now that I feel much better (especially after a guilt free lunch that included a chocolate shake) I shall end my rant with this piece of advice. Next time you see your mother, thank her for enduring the 10 months of pregnancy to bring you into the world and also for enduring the 10 months of unwelcomed comments. This public service annoucement is now over.

Have a good day!

Spring Showers Bring May Flowers...

and babies! While it is not quite spring yet, the showers have already begun! Yesterday marked the beginning of what is shaping up to be quite a busy February and March for me and baby Kate. Here are pictures of my work lunch shower and of course my belly which has REALLY popped over the last week or so.

(Nutty Bars for the mommy to be!)

(Can't give up the heels!)

There's No Day Like a Snow Day...

unless you don't have power. That's what we woke up to on Wednesday, January 28th. Our electricity went out about 6 am. Luckily it was restored before lunch time. Good thing, it was getting quite chilly in our house! Joey's work was cancelled and I wasn't about to venture out in my "delicate" situation. So, we hunkered down for a day of snoozing, watching movies, and Joey shoveling. Here are some pics from our house and subdivision.

(Our deck furniture, holly bush, our cold house, neighbor's tree covered in ice, down the street, Joey using a hammer to get the ice off his car, frozen star)

Extreme Makeover Home Edition

Well, maybe not extreme...but quite the transformation for our little house in the past year. We've built another bedroom, moved our master, nixed my scrapbooking room, made Joey a new office, moved the spare bed into our old master and finally made a cozy place for Kate to sleep and play. So, I give you pictures of Joey's new manly office and Kate's girlier than girly room! I will post pictures of the belly soon. You see, I get in my pjs as soon as I walk in the door. So, I'll try to remember to keep some regular clothes on for a few more minutes to take a picture.

(My old "office")

(Joey's new office)

(Kate's Room! The second picture is kinda dark so you can see her name on the wall, Joey built the bookcase "dollhouse" decked out with tiny shutters, scalloped shingles and gingerbread trim. Pretty much my dream house.)

Under construction...

...is my next post. I can't believe it's been so long! Sorry everybody!!! I've been so busy lately, yet I couldn't tell you what in the world I have been doing. But, nevertheless, I am feeling great these days and Baby Kate seems to be happy as she dances in my belly. I have another ultrasound appointment this Friday to retake pictures. She was so squirmy the first time they couldn't get clear pictures of her heart. Aside from a few sleepless nights of trying to stay sleeping on my side, I can finally understand why some people enjoy being pregnant.

We are finishing up a few final touches on Kate's room and I PROMISE to post pictures of that, Joey's new office and of course my growing belly. Until then, I hope all of you are thinking warm weather thoughts :) Only a few more weeks until Groundhog Day!

Merry Christmas!

Just a quick note to wish everyone a very happy and healthy Christmas. Enjoy spending time with your family and friends (even the crazy family). I hope you get everything you wish for and more! Enjoy this picture of my niece, Lyndsay, and Santa.