losing it...

I've hesitated writing this post, and started and stopped several times. But, obviously I decided to share my story with you. Although this is my blog, and quite frankly I can write about whatever I want to, I've generally strayed from writing about things that are too terribly personal. While my story I'm about to share with you is more on the personal side, I feel like I need to share it with anyone who wants to read it because it has changed my life!

It started about 10 weeks ago. Another work email about a new session of Weight Watchers (hereinafter referred to as WW) was about to start up. I generally ignore those emails because up until about 9 weeks ago I really can say I didn't care too much about my weight. I felt *sort of* comfortable in my own skin. I was married, had a toddler, so what did I really care what my weight was. I never really looked in the mirror and was completely disgusted, so I just left it at that. I knew my mom had recently joined WW (again) and had told me once or twice how much she enjoyed the new Points Plus program. I had seen Jennifer Hudson strutting her new fabulous self on WW television commercials, but still didn't give it much thought.

The Sunday before the first meeting of the new work session of WW I had told my mom on a whim that my work was having a WW session beginning that very Tuesday. She immediately offered to pay for the session if I join and almost jumped through the phone she was so excited. Because of her enthusiasm for the new program, I decided right then and there in my kitchen that I would go to the meeting to check it out. So. Glad. I. Did.

After sitting through my first meeting and then an informational session I knew this would be something that I could probably do. I weighed in the following Tuesday and received my books, food tracker, and calculator. So.....really....I weighed that much? Wow. First week of tracking was HARD. I was hungry, grumpy, I spent like 2.5 hours at the grocery store calculating EVERY nutritional value label I put into my cart and on top of that spent about $250. I was nervous about not doing it right, or forgetting to track or just not being able to stay within my allotted points.

Weigh in #1: So stupid, but I totally had butterflies in my stomach! I thought, there is NO way this is actually working. Well, guess what, it did! I lost 2.6 pounds the FIRST week! I was on cloud nine :)

Each week has been different, some BIG losses, and other just a tiny bit. Tracking is definitely easier, I am starting to remember point values for my favorite food (Chick fil a chicken sandwich with 1 tbsp of light mayo = 12points. Booyah.) and I can really feel a difference in my energy level and general attitude. I've also been doing Zumba two times a week and have also really enjoyed doing that. I've reconnected with some old friends from high school that make just going to the class fun!

I won't list my week to week progress, but as of Tuesday's weigh in, I have lost.....14.6 POUNDS!!! If I can shed that last .4 pounds, I will have met another huge milestone in my weight loss journey and then I will be only about 3 pounds away from my goal weight!

As a side note, let me just tell you that I GET IT. Not everybody will be or has been as successful with weight loss. It's a personal battle and one that you have to BE READY to take on. Nobody can tell you when you are ready for it, it just has to feel right. For me, I knew I didn't need to lose a ton of weight, but I just wanted to be able to feel good in my clothes and quite frankly, have my underpants fit again. I've never said I wanted to do this for anybody. Not even Kate. Everything else in my life I do for her and for my Joey, and for once, I knew I needed to do something for MYSELF. I know in a way this will only help me live a healthier and longer life with Kate and my family, but when it comes right down to it, it's all about me. Selfish, perhaps, but you know what, it works for me.

We've talked in meetings about the importance of having somebody in your life to support you and help you in your journey. I can not even begin to express the overwhelming support I've gotten from my family and friends. But, the single most important person along on this weight loss journey is my momma. Sure it helps that she is also totally rocking weight watchers and is within a second of her goal weight, but her unconditional love, support, and encouraging words have been the best motivation. We talk almost every day anyway, but when it comes to Tuesday mornings for my weigh in and Thursday mornings for her weigh in, we are immediately on the phone either ecstatic about our loss or lamenting our gains. She and I are there to pick each other up if things didn't go as "planned" and the first ones to cheer loudly for each other if they do. I'm so proud of my mom. She's awesome.

Our first 12-week program at work is about to end and as of right now it is still up in the air if we will have enough people to continue on. I will be so sad if we don't because I truly value our work group and our Leader, who is the BEST, by the way. If we don't have enough, then I will be finding a meeting close to me so I can continue to work toward my lifetime membership. I really think that this is something that I will always have to do to keep myself in check. Maybe I won't always have to track every single thing I eat, but I do think that points will always be a part of my life and so will meetings. I love the support and motivation you received from attending meetings.

To end this long, long-winded post, I wanted to also fill you in on something that I want to do. I've always felt that in some way I have really missed out on taking ahold of teaching. Maybe it's because I'm Type A and bossy, or maybe because it really is in my blood since my dad, mom, brother and sister in law are all teachers, but I've always carried that regret. I never could quite put my finger on what I felt I was missing because honestly I didn't care for kids the way "normal" teachers do. Starting with WW it finally dawned on me. It's not that I'm missing out on being a classroom teacher, it's that I am missing out on being an EDUCATOR. I know I've always had that desire to educate people about things, especially topics that interest me. So, herein lies a possible solution. At this point in my weight loss with WW, I can begin to train as a Receptionist and when I meet my goal and maintain for 6 weeks to receive my lifetime membership, I can jump in with both feet and apply to be a WW LEADER! I am so excited about the possibilities of working for WW and cannot wait to start working on this journey. I hope that I will be able to inspire others to get excited about changing their lives and attitudes. So, to all of you thinking that it's too late, or it doesn't matter or it won't work, LISTEN UP! Do something for YOURSELF (or somebody else if that's what motivates you) and go to a WW meeting! I hope someday I'll be leading a meeting to support you through your weight loss journey!

www.weightwatchers.com